Gargoyle Gals/Transcript
Green's house, front yard (Episode title appears on a rock; Tilly is holding a jump rope.) Tilly: And a one, and a two, and a JUMP! (Shows Saxon is holding the other end and a teddy bear is in the middle; of course it doesn't jump due to being inanimate.) Tilly: When I say "jump", you jump. (Cricket passes by, whistling.) Tilly: Hey! Cricket! Over here! You'll play with me, right? These guys aren't given' me a whole lot to work with. Cricket: Ooh, no can do, Tilly. I have a best friend date planned with Remy. Oh! There he is, now! (Remy is across the street holding hot dogs.) Remy: Hey, Cricket! I bought us hot dogs! (his pants fall, exposing his underwear) Oh...aw... (he is attacked by pigeons) Oh, no! AHHHH!!! Cricket: Bye, Tilly! Tilly: Uh...okay. Have fun! It's nice that Cricket found a friend so quickly in the city. Makes me glad to have you, Saxon. It's just you, me, and the creepy gargoyles on the building across the street. (Zooms past Tilly to one of the scary-looking gargoyles on a building in the distance.) Tilly: I suppose my pool of friends is a little shallow. Well, that does it. I'm off to find a person friend! Serendipity, take me awayyyyy!!! (jumps; flops down) Augh! Not a word, please. Big City Park (Various children are playing on the playground rides; Tilly watches from a bush.) Tilly: All right, a friend for Tilly. (She scans the various park visitors. First up: an elderly woman working out to music on a radio.) Tilly (OS): Hmm...too dazzy. (a girl trying to run up the slide) Too aggressive. (a girl eating the sand in a sandbox; back to her) Maybe. (Another girl comes out of the bush next to her; she is purple skinned with darker purple hair in pigtails, and is using binoculars.) Purple girl: Innocent fools...they have no idea their entire world is alive! Tilly: Uh... (the girl sees her) Hello, there! Purple girl: AUGH! (falls out of the bush) What are you doing?! How dare you spy on me while I'm spying on other people! Tilly: (shakes her hand) Hi! My name is Tilly Green! Purple girl: (examines her) Tilly Green, you say? (She skims through a book called "Conspiracies, Spies & Lies".) Purple girl: Green like a...lizard person? (shows a lizard man) Are you part of the secret lizard person society? Tilly: Can a lizard...do this? (does a slap dance) Hah-hah, ah-ah-ah, yeah! Purple girl: Hmm...well, there's nothing in here about smooth moves. Tilly: You sure got a suspicious mind in that head of yours. What's your name? Purple girl: My name is -- um... (She takes out an index card and writes something; she shows her name written: Andromeda.) Tilly: Andromeda? (she crumbles it up and eats it) Oh! Is that your real name? Purple girl (Andromeda): (shaking head) Yeeees. (grabs her) Listen, Tilly! Pod people, wolfmen, aliens, they're all listening all the time and only I know the truth! Now, why do you think about that?! (Pause.) Tilly: Let's be friends. Andromeda: Sorry, Tilly. I ride alone. (jumps back into the bush) Tilly: Wait! I-I-I know some truths! Some shocking, revealing truths! Andromeda: (comes out) You do? Tilly: Yes! Uh...the-the-the truth is... (looks at a tree) Trees! They're alive, and they eat the humans! Andromeda: I feel like I woulda hurt about that. Tilly: Right, uh...oh-oh! (lifts a rock) There's an entire underground society of little men that uh...uh...that...ah... Andromeda: Listen, Tilly. I-I'd like to hang, but...I just got too much goin' on. Tilly: Think, Tilly! You're losin' her! (looks at the building with gargoyles) THE GARGOYLES! They come alive at night, and are super scary! (The sentient gargoyle in her fantasy laughs.) Tilly: I saw it! Andromeda: Whoa. You saw it? Tilly: All questions will be answered in my house, let's go! (pulls her away) Andromeda: Whoa! Green's house, Cricket and Tilly's bedroom (Shows various crayon drawings of Tilly's predictions.) Andromeda (OS): So, what you're saying is, the gargoyle statues have magic ruby hearts that allow them to come to life at night, and run the government? (throws a dart at the last picture) Tilly: Huh? Uh-uh-uh, yup! That is exactly what I saw. Andromeda: What'cha doing down there? Uncovering more secrets? Tilly: Oh, uh... (She was drawing a picture of herself and Andromeda riding gargoyles and high fiving with the caption, "FRIENDS???") Tilly: Just workin' on a different mystery? (crumbles picture up) Andromeda: The world's gonna freak once they learn the truth! Thanks for sharing it with me, Tilly. Tilly: Ha. Well yeah, you know me. Seeker of truth. Cricket: (comes in undressing himself) Ah, nuthin' like comin' home and rippin' off all your clothes! (sees Tilly and Andromeda; redresses) I see we have company. And who might you be? Tilly: Cricket! This is my friend -- Andromeda: Paranormal investigation partner. Tilly and I are uncovering a little gargoyle problem. Cricket: Say what, now? Tilly: Yeah! Well...uh...as it turns out, uh...gargoyles are alive and rule us all. (Pause.) Cricket: (laughs loudly) Tilly, what's gotten into you? Did this girl brainwash you? Blink twice if you want me to call the police. Tilly: Well, I -- I suppose all this is a little silly...oh, well! Let's forget all about it and go watch a movie! Andromeda: No! Your brother thinks you're spouting lies. We gotta get proof to show him and everyone the truth! (Tilly looks at Cricket holding a picture of a gargoyle; he sticks his tongue through it.) Cricket: Blehhhhhh... Roof (That night, Andromeda comes up to the roof with binoculars set up; Tilly and Cricket join, the former holds her camera.) Andromeda: (to the gargoyles on the building) We've got our eyes on you. YA HEAR THAT UGLY?! Tilly: Oh, a stakeout! This'll be fun! We'll hang out, tell stories... Andromeda: And wait for the gargoyles to come to life!! Then you'll snap the photo for proof, right, Tilly? Tilly: Say "cheese"! (takes a picture of themselves) Andromeda: Ugh!! Tilly: (shows a tray) Oh, I also brought some stakeout snacks. (They are cookies with icing shaped in the heads of herself and Andromeda, as well as the words "Buds 4 Life".) Tilly: What do you, uh...think of the message? I'll just set them here -- (puts them down, only for them to slide down) Oh. (The plate falls off the roof and breaks; Cricket is fiddling with a chicken.) Cricket: You're wasting your time! Statues of things don't just magically come to life! (throws it up) If they did, I'd be hangin' out with that funny Burger Clown right now! (Cuts to a statue of a mascot, Burger Clown; Benny lays a half-opened burger at it.) Benny: I bwought you another offewing. (bows) Cricket: Oh man, if you were alive, he's make me laugh, and laugh... (laughs; then stern) But just like the gargoyles, that's not gonna happen! (falls) Agh! Tilly: Eh...uh, let me go talk to him. (slides down to him) Cricket, I don't believe in this gargoyle stuff. I just made it up so Andromeda would be my friend. Cricket: Wow. You know this is all gonna blow up in your face, right? Tilly: I know. It's bad I lied. But we have so much in common! She even likes when I do this... (does a popping sound with her mouth) Cricket: (covers ears) AGH! Stop it, Tilly! You know I hate that noise!! (More popping.) Andromeda: Ah-ha-ha, love that sound, Tilly! Keep it up! Cricket: Ugh. Maybe you two are good for each other. All right, I'm in. Is there any way I can help out? Tilly: Actually, there is something you can do... (goes to Andromeda) Welp, now that it's just the two of us, perhaps our luck will change. Andromeda: Hey, Tilly. I know we're saving the world and it's super serious, but I'm actually havin' a lot of fun. I usually do this kind of stuff alone. It's a lot more fun with a... Tilly: (in her thoughts) Friend! Andromeda: (snaps) With a...person with common interest. Tilly: Hmm... Andromeda: Also, I snagged us some cookies. (shows two of them) Might have to fight off some ants, though. (Ants from Tilly's cookie are crawling over her.) Tilly: What? (Andromeda continues spying at a gargoyle; something swoops past.) Andromeda: What the?! (spots something on the roof and gasps) A GARGOYLE! TILLY! Get your camera ready! (Tilly gets out her camera; the "gargoyle" is just Cricket in disguise.) Cricket: (hisses) I'm a magic gargoyle, and I've come to -- (gets plowed by Andromeda) Oof! Tilly: Oh, my gosh. Andromeda: DIE, GARGOYLE! Tilly: Andromeda! Andromeda: (notices Cricket's fake fangs) Wait a second. This isn't a gargoyle! It's just your little brother! Cricket: Hi. Andromeda: Well, Tilly, it was fun while it lasted. I'm goin' home. Tilly: Wait! What about the stakeout? Andromeda: What's the point? It's not like we're gonna see any real gargoyles. (gets off the roof) Tilly: But -- you can't go! 'Cause, uh...'cause...we're gonna climb up to the roof of that creepy old tower and wake up those gargoyles! Andromeda: (comes back) Really? How? Tilly: With...a... (sees a hammer next to her; takes it) With this magic hammer! Andromeda: Ha-ha, now you're talkin'! Catch 'em with the scene of action! Great idea, Tilly! Let's go! (leaves) Cricket: Uh, bad idea, Tilly. That's way too dangerous! You should be telling that I'm the one sayin' that! Tilly: Don't you think I know that! I can't turn back now, I'm in too deep! Andromeda: (comes back) What's that, Tilly? Tilly: I mean, uh...ha...stay out of our way! (whispering) Help me, Cricket. Cricket: Huh? Tilly: (full voice) Don't try and help me! (leaves) Cricket: Okay. Tilly: (comes back; whispers) Please help me. (leaves) Cricket: Wait, help you or don't help you? Which is it? Which is it?!? (echoes out) Streets, near building (Tilly and Andromeda spot the building with the gargoyles; lightning strikes in the sky.) Andromeda: All right, Tilly. This is it. Keys (OS): May I help you girls? (Keys is behind them.) Tilly: (gasps; stagey) Good evenin', officer. You're probably wonderin' why two kids like us are out so late, and not safe at home? Keys: That's exactly what I was wondering. (suddenly happy) But then, I realized I should mind my own business! You two have fun now with whatever you're doing. Bye, now! (leaves) Andromeda: Phew! That was close. Tilly: So close! Inside building (They sneak inside and enter the elevator; Tilly presses the button for the observation deck. '' '''Andromeda:' Boy, Tilly. I had no idea you were such a thrill-seeker. Tilly: Yeah...heh-heh...me neither. Sorta wish someone would stop me. (As the doors start to close, Cricket appears from outside.) Cricket: Tilly, you gotta stop! STOOOP! (Doors close completely.) Observation deck (Tilly comes out to observe one of the gargoyles.) Tilly: Oh, Tilly, what are you doin'...?! Andromeda: We're wakin' the gargoyles! Tilly: Right...right. How could I forget? (gets on all fours and crawls) Okay. Maybe this gargoyle will wake up, then all of my problems will be solved and Andromeda and I will be friends, and then everything will be perfect. (She pats the gargoyle as a wind begins to blow.) Tilly: I'm dead. Andromeda: What's the holdup?! We're so close! Tilly: Uh...Andromeda...even if the gargoyles don't wake up, we could still hang out, ri -- (Andromeda is crawling across the gargoyle.) Tilly: Whoa!!! What are you doin'?!? Andromeda: (patting the gargoyle's eyes) OH, IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP, BUDDY! Tilly, get the camera! Tilly: Oh...ooooookay... (Cricket arrives, crawling tiredly.) Cricket: I just climbed a million stairs to save your butt! (sees Andromeda) Oh, my gosh! What's she doin'?! (Andromeda is now banging the gargoyle with the hammer; it starts to crack.) Cricket: Tilly, you gotta come clean! Tilly: But I don't wanna lose my friend! Cricket: Well, you're gonna lose her anyway when she falls off the building! Tilly: (climbs onto the gargoyle) Andromeda! Climb back! He's not goin' to wake up! Andromeda: Nonono! I think it's working! (drops the hammer) Whoa! Oh, no! The magic hammer!! Tilly: Andromeda, listen! I lied! I made the whole thing up! The gargoyles aren't magic, they're just ugly statues! Now please get off the ledge! Andromeda: Wha -- ? (stands) Tilly, you lied to me?! Tilly: Don't stand up, DON'T STAND UP!! Andromeda: Oh! And I guess the "magic hammer" isn't really magic, either! Tilly: Well, if you believe it is... (chokes a bit) No, that was a lie, too. Andromeda: I thought you were a truth teller like me, but now I can see you're just a teller of LIES! (She stomps; the gargoyle head cracks completely, causing it to break apart under her feet and fall.) Andromeda: Whoa...whoa...AHHHHHHH!!! Tilly: ANDROMEDA! Andromeda: AGH! (She grabs her just in time.) Tilly: I'm sorry! I just...I don't know, I just wanted to be friends with you! Andromeda: Wha? Really? Tilly: Yeah! Cricket: (shimmies up to her) Aww, this is really sweet and everything, but let's get off this roof before we all die!! (Shifts to them back safely on the deck.) Tilly: So, uh...we're-we're cool, right? Do you...wanna maybe...hang out tomorrow? Andromeda: Uh...I-I got a lot of conspiracies to catch up on. I gotta go. (leaves) Tilly: (sighs and covers eyes in sadness) Oh... Cricket: (comes over and pats her head) Oh, Tilly, Tilly, Tilly. Let's go. I'm freezin'. (takes her home) Green's house, front yard/living room (The following day, Cricket chases a laughing Remy.) Cricket: I'm chasin' ya! I'm chasin' ya! Haha! Okay, you chase me! Remy, chase me! (Tilly watches from the living room window, wrapped in a blanket and holding a mug; Saxon is next to her.) Tilly: I almost had a best friend once, but I had to go and chase her away with my tall tales and deceits. (She blows the steam away; knocking is heard.) Tilly: Hmm? (answers door) Hello? (She finds a letter below her feet.) Tilly: What's this? (opens letter and reads it) "Tilly -- sorry I had to ditch you last night..." Andromeda (VO): Too many witnesses! Meet me at the park -- got a new lead...Officer Keys is an alien!!?? (Think about it.) Your friend, Andromeda. (P.S. Destroy this letter.) (Tilly smiles and looks across the lawn; Andromeda peeks out from behind the telephone pole as if anticipating her appearance. Tilly crumbles the letter up, eats it, closes the door, and follows after her.) Category:Episode Transcript Category:Season 1 Transcripts Category:G Category:A-Z